Blank Slates & Beauty

A psychologist of long ago once said that we are all born with a "blank slate." That is, we are completely untouched, uneffected, unmolded, and unmade until we are exposed to culture. It would be the absolute height of nurture ruling over nature. I am not sure if I believe this, per say.. Because there are other factors that have to be considered (such as genetics, which is the biggest one.)

However, I was thinking of the "blank slate" concept in terms of beauty; What if my view of beauty was completely "blank" until society told me what it was?

At four years old, I remember dancing around in this over-sized red dress, with huge pearls around my kneck and a gold clip on earrings. I had a rose in my mouth and I was dancing around to the opera Carmon. I specifically remember looking in the mirror and thinking that I looked lovely.  Was I still a "blank slate" at that point?

Now, at almost nineteen years old I look in the mirror this morning and I am filled with frustration. I cannot get my hair to lay right, I am all out of bronzer, I can't seem to find something to wear that looks decent (despite the selfish fact that I have a closet overflowing with clothes.) I don't know about that day when I was Carmon, but I am certainly no longer a blank slate.

Society has spoken into me what is beautiful. Society has shown me, not only in images-but in movies, books, magazines, ideas, ideals, and other people- "This. Is. It." No room for compromise, and God forbid, no room for individuality. 

In an over-sexualized, over-glamourized world, how do I get back to a blank slate? How do I come to a point where my eyes are completely open and cleared of what culture says is beautiful, so that I can re-create the word "beauty" and thus, finally be at peace in the body that I am in?

There is a person inside of me that aches to know I am beautiful. She is dying to be validated, encouraged, and renewed. Sadly, culture isn't the one that can do that for Her.