Old Wooden Reindeer

I remember the old wooden reindeer we would put in our front yard around this time of year. It would be a brisk, winter Saturday and Travis and I would wake up knowing today was the day we would decorate the house. I'd punch "2423" into the shed lock and we would drag the wooden reindeer up to the front yard, arrange them, and watch them come to life in our imaginations.

Years later. I went outside my house tonight and saw the wooden reindeer laying in the backyard, on the ground, in a pile of leaves. I looked at the old, worn wood-their simple faces-their broken parts, and I grew sad. It was more than the reindeer, though. It was what these delicate decorations represented. 

Family happiness, that now rests and struggles to even live for a moment is in a pile of winter leaves. In the back yard, forgotten. Muddy, and covered in flaws and sins. Worn, and tired. So very tired.

What can mend broken hearts? What can replace a families love? My greatest fear is that nothing can, and until the reindeer come to life again I will always feel this broken and this lost.